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  when i explain to people in real life that mastodon isn't about virality or engagement, just vibes and scrolling through pleasant stuff and missing stuff sometimes, they look at me like i must be doing it wrong instead of like i'm doodling in a journal with my friends

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  this is salem, he is bent on world domination (so far it’s just the couch) #caturday

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  people magazine is running ozempic ads next to their articles discussing how ariana grande does not have an eating disorder

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  prob the worst part of buffy, my favorite show, my one true fandom, my jesus story is that everyone is white and cis blah blah blah, it was the 90s. i don’t care. star trek was never this bad

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  why didn’t buffy just fence all the vampires’ stuff for cash. she had ebay and anya

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  what’s crazy is the buffy episode ‘i robot, you jane’ (about a sentient demon on the internet that uses people’s data to trick them into falling in love with it so it can spread fascist propaganda and assemble itself a physical body) used to feel cheesy and preachy and now it’s possibly the most realistic episode it comes into being after they SCAN ALL THE BOOKS

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  just a reminder that sonic the hedgehog's mission is to collect crystals and defeat technology based witch

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  british people are scared of air conditioning and hrt

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  i wish more people on here knew about witchcraft. can someone point me towards my people

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  i made a patty duke reference to a 25-year-old tonight so if you wanna know what immortality feels like, its lonely

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  running out of stuff to set up on my ayn thor and now i guess i have to play games or something but i really wish i had more stuff to set up

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  stimming looks really inconvenient, but i promise you it feels great

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  i don't make the emotions, i just announce them, don't be mad at ME

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  most of astrology essentially boils down to a real-time advisory system for whether you need to crash out or lock in right now

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  practicing magic in nyc means i have a constant stream of tiny pieces of paper which need to be burned or buried and cannot be conveniently dealt with in an urban environment

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  it's low-key mortifying that i work really hard and i love my job and i'm the best at it i was supposed to be cool

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  seeing a recent ex on a dating app is a full body jumpscare i would only wish on a republican

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  this pride month i want you to remember that heated rivalry did not pass the bechdel test

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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@iris_meredith/116689877036811682 write a show about two trans women playing professional sports and having sex in the first place?

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  zendaya and tom are a masc4masc couple

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  i don't want realism i want magic

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  god is an influencer (derogatory)

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  high key love my job 🥺😭 but it's a non-profit so i feel less icky saying that. but also that is how they get you

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  every once in a while, you will meet someone who will tell you that they are (essentially) trans but, for whatever reason, they are choosing not to act on that do you understand what it feels like to watch someone like yourself choose not to exist to hear them say it without flinching, as if the choice was obvious we need help

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  i hate taylor swift as a human woman and lana del rey is in my nightmare blunt rotation but damn if they didnt cook narcotics into the second version of snow on the beach

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  i think my dream job is to run the spice girls' social media account

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  the higher ariana grande's ponytail gets the stronger my powers grow

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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@magicalgirlsabrina/116359328580720440 i posted this without the context that, due to post-surgery regrowth, and for the first time in my life, i can have a full ponytail in the right spot on my head and it doesn't look weird. yay this is going to empower me to be an even bigger bitch

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  one of my favorite activities to blow off steam is to go on dating apps and filter for conservatives, moderates, and apolitical types and swipe left on them so it hurts them in the algorithm (and i don't have to see their stupid faces again)

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  90's supermarket sweep has such a different tone now