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  she's crawls into your bed and sits on your face

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  if you don't use old Cool Whip containers to eat salad out of are you even a fucking environmentalist bro

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  how many more sequels in the Toy Story franchise until it just becomes a horror movie

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  screaming YOLO as i slam my dick against the ooni pizza oven

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  he's back bitches https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2026/jun/04/bizarre-return-of-mr-blobby

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  instead of doing yardwork i decided to fix a bullet vibrator #Priorities

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  if we're going to destroy the world economy, global stability and the post-WWII consensus for Israel thank fuck we got SodaStream and Waze out of the bargain

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  The truck with the guns, fucko

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  ok so are the incontinence ads on Twitch targeting the age on my user account or did they get a giant Samuel L Jackson-voiced ad buy?

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  dirty soda is when a Mormon sticks his junk in your Pepsi

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  Ahmadinejad is proof that Shitposting is Power

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  at work whenever I have to sign something for training or cards for colleagues I always put Skwisgaar Skwigelf

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  Bleppin’ Ain’t Easy

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  the pilot on this flight looks like Bricktop im scared

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  im in the Balearics imma put my dick in so much sangria

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  #HappyMemorialDay especially to those lonely MILFs who’s no G-spot finding husbands are deployed to protect us from Iran

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  putting Joker makeup on my junk because my wife said im a bit predictable in the sack

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  im going Walt Flanagan mode this week - wearing swim trunks everywhere instead of shorts and underwear

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  I am the yinzer Matrim Cauthon

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  really enjoyed listening to TESD back in the day but had to cut bait once Ming got more involved you’ll never convince me that he’s not a low-key psychopath

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  married 25 years and still can’t get a beej #retvrn #bluewave #hasanabiishezbollah #showyoufeetsweatie

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  Argie Pope and Chicago Pope have made all those years of Catholic school worth it