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• Post #3873472

  Not sure if a bidet is right for you? Try a Super Soaker as a low commitment alternative.

• Post #2539673

  how slutty of an establishment is adult chuck e. cheese? it's my first time. idk what to wear.

• Post #1845348

  I don't care how "fun fruity and fabulous" the new panera drinks are. bring back the death lemonade, original recipe.

• Post #1829358

  the bricks be boofin' in this house

• Post #821726

  I wonder how asthmatics feel about supposedly uplifting ✨just breathe✨ word art

• Post #821725

  roommate: we should make deviled eggs for easter. me: we should make deviled eggs because deviled eggs.

• Post #821724

  if you don't understand what i'm saying when i say "im not bougie enough to brave tj's at 5pm on a tuesday," you are in the bourgeoisie.

• Post #821723

  what in cthulhu's name are my neighbors doing that involves regularly clanging metal at midnight (it usually sounds like they're assembling kit furniture, but this time sounded like tidying up?).

• Post #821721

  forgot my phone at home today so i couldn't piss in the stall. ahhhh sweet release, finally.

• Post #821720

  my second toe blissous is coming back. only on the right foot though. left heel will likely soon experience similar.

• Post #821717

  having a day where i feel like I've done some indiscretion but i think I was just a bit peckish and struggling to oxygenate dt asthma

• Post #821716

  shampooing the carpet is spiritually equivalent to mowing the lawn, so I get a 6-pack now.

• Post #719891

  watching Space Jam 1996 and wishing someone would hurry and take me to moron mountain