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• Post #4494537

  The thing you all need to know is that if I keep being a Very Good Girl and making men happy in whatever ways they want me to, eventually they'll be nice to me. That's just science.

• Post #4432851

  This time last year, I wrote about the significant harms of the #OnlineSafetyAct. Depressing that things have got far worse since then. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/age-verification-whats-the-harm/

• Post #4389927

  "Will you share your new toys with me? ... I’m really nervous, but I get the impression you’ll be able to help?” This time in '24, @thebarefootsub@mastodon.social brought us this gorgeous #erotica about sharing sex toys with a curious neighbour... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/testing-sex-toys-with-her/

• Post #4216589

  Stop commenting on porn to tell me it isn't to your tastes!! NOT ALL PORN IS FOR YOU OMG. I covered this in 2015 why hasn't everyone learned it by now. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/not-all-porn-is-for-you/

• Post #4189205

  People who can fuck off: the ones who insist we get pizza then want a pizza that’s covered in meat. If you wanted meat, you should have suggested burgers. Pizza is a cheese-based food. The cheese should be the dominant force.

• Post #4120610

  If it weren’t rude and intrusive to do so, what questions would you like to ask of people before you decide to date them? I think I’d like to know how often someone wanks, so I can gauge whether they’re reasonably horny or if we’re both wasting our time.

• Post #4063278

  #ICYMI, yesterday's fabulous guest blog by Synonymph exhorting cis men to avoid this one particular 'foreplay' move. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/stop-putting-my-hand-on-your-boner/

• Post #4020851

  With enough mental fortitude and an early enough bedtime... I might be able to turn this into a five-wank day.

• Post #4020792

  This time in '24, a promise you could never ever ever hope to fulfil. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/come-harder-than-i-ever-have/

• Post #4017987

  While I'm here, can I ask you a favour? If you're followed by anyone who writes smut, please could you share this post? Commissions (PAID, OF COURSE) for the next round of 'turning smut you've already written into lovely, wankable, accessible audio'. Would love to hear from some new writers! https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/call-for-submissions-want-to-turn-your-smut-into-audio-porn/

• Post #3999356

  The one trick that consistently works to get me off the sofa and into bed when it’s late is ‘remembering that wanking exists’.

• Post #3971860

  Right-wing people always think that 'offensive' is what we care about. As if 'offensive' is some magic word to get us to stop doing whatever it is that's pissing them off.

• Post #3930099

  So proud of the #AudioPorn project rn - gorgeous, hot work from @Jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org, @nymphostimtoy@kinkycats.org, Spen Pritchard, @GoingDownWithSundial@mastodon.social + readings by Tabitha Rayne and @mollysdailykiss@kinkycats.org Check it out free here: https://www.girlonthenet.com/audio 😍 Get bonuses & early access to new stuff while supporting the project at https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

• Post #3918865

  Start your Saturday sexily, with this week's NEW #AudioPorn by the brilliant @Jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org - she meets you in a bar, and you've always been curious about what it might be like to let yourself get seduced by a seriously hot woman... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/bi-curious-i-want-to-seduce-you/ Big thanks to @Mollysdailykiss@kinkyelephant.com for bringing it to audio!

• Post #3898273

  Can't BELIEVE it's been a whole year since the start of @GoingDownWithSundial@mastodon.social's incredible Sunday series! Get stuck in to part 1, then enjoy EIGHT other episodes of this gorgeous smut! https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sunday-1-mouth-cunt-full-cock/

• Post #3898272

  "If I’m honest and being completely selfish, I want it to be me that you have your first experience with." NEW #AudioPorn! A gorgeous #Bisexual seduction story written by @Jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org and read very flirtily by @Mollysdailykiss@kinkyelephant.com Click play and let yourself be seduced... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/bi-curious-i-want-to-seduce-you/

• Post #3731665

  "It would be the most incredible adventure in understanding each other, wouldn’t it? Like answering the question of whether we both experience the colour ‘blue’ in the same way, but with sensations far more fun than pure visuals." NEW #AudioPorn - body swap #erotica. If I had his dick and he had my cunt... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/body-swap-your-dick-my-cunt/

• Post #3703015

  Got a new personal best at the gym today, and I’m so pleased. I am 15kg away from being able to deadlift *myself*.

• Post #3697902

  "Let me bury my face in the crook of your neck and close my eyes and track your heartbeat. " Gorgeous guest piece from the archive on #kissing, by mudkri - with #AudioPorn https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/kiss-me/

• Post #3658637

  Someone on BlueSky is having a moan because a stranger crossed the street to get away from their dog. “My dog is so gentle tho!” My snake is adorable and wouldn’t/couldn’t hurt someone but that doesn’t magically cure people’s phobias. Dog people 🙄

• Post #3603717

  NEW blog - I wrote a summer style guide for men. Three words: slutty little shorts. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sluttiest-looks-men/ Beautiful men in shorts by @stuart_cb@mastodon.social

• Post #3510662

  Here's another thing that just went live: call for submissions! Got sex stories/blogs/erotica that you'd like to hear turned into #AudioPorn? HIT ME UP https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/call-for-submissions-want-to-turn-your-smut-into-audio-porn/

• Post #3468041

  "Stopping me in the hallway, making me face the wall and arch my back, yanking down my shorts and knickers then roughly lubing me up to get fucked in the ass." NEW blog: a horny heatwave daydream with incredibly sexy art by @stuart_cb@mastodon.social https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/roughly-lubing-me-up/

• Post #3457539

  Did you know that the things you interact with positively throughout your life give the angels a template from which to build your perfect afterlife? It’s true. So you should boost posts with porn in as often as possible or you won’t be able to wank when you get to heaven.

• Post #3425531

  Ok so the heat sucks but I’m LOVING being woken up by shuddering thunder and huge bright lightning at 3 in the morning. Cacophony, downpour and drama while I lie all soft and naked inside feeling grateful for the rain. ❤️

• Post #3419740

  Thanks for the offer, but this will definitely get me punched. https://closca.com/en-gb/products/loop-lab-civic

• Post #3390105

  People, I am begging you, if you have air con in your flat please PUT IT ON YOUR DATING PROFILE.

• Post #3320040

  Today's post will be a little late, so instead I'm dredging up a few of my horny faves from the archive. Like this one, on my favourite Sex Thing of all... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/begging-for-bareback-spunk/

• Post #3150322

  I'm not angry or bitter or anything I just think... you know... adult or not... if I've carried all the food and chairs to a kid's birthday party... then I deserve a party bag too.

• Post #2768978

  NEW #AudioPorn which one of my Patreons said reads like 'frantic poetry' I wrote it a long time ago to illustrate that being submissive/bottom doesn't mean not getting stuck in. Here are a bunch of different ways to get #fucked. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/get-fucked/ One of my fave @stuart_cb artworks and all. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/get-fucked/