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  You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.

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  That's where the money was. -- Willie Sutton, on being asked why he robbed a bank It's a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night. -- Willie Sutton

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  When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship. -- Harry S. Truman

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  Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.

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  You will wish you hadn't.

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  Design, v.: What you regret not doing later on.

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  If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

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  BOFH excuse #429: Temporal anomaly

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  History repeats itself. That's one thing wrong with history.

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  No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.

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  Command, n.: Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.

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  BOFH excuse #283: Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening

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  It takes a smart husband to have the last word and not use it.

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  Reply hazy, ask again later.

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  If your aim in life is nothing; you can't miss.

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  What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them? -- Roger von Oech

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  Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

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  It's very inconvenient to be mortal -- you never know when everything may suddenly stop happening.

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  When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. -- Dylan Thomas

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  A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen

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  Don't expect people to keep in step-- it's hard enough just staying in line.

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  And as we stand on the edge of darkness Let our chant fill the void That others may know In the land of the night The ship of the sun Is drawn by The grateful dead. -- Tibetan "Book of the Dead," ca. 4000 BC.

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  He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die. -- Giacomo Leopardi

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  You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.

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  No, I'm not interested in developing a powerful brain. All I'm after is just a mediocre brain, something like the president of American Telephone and Telegraph Company. -- Alan Turing on the possibilities of a thinking machine, 1943.

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  Cold, adj.: When the politicians walk around with their hands in their own pockets.

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  The hieroglyphics are all unreadable except for a notation on the back, which reads "Genuine authentic Egyptian papyrus. Guaranteed to be at least 5000 years old."

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  Actor Real Name Boris Karloff William Henry Pratt Cary Grant Archibald Leach Edward G. Robinson Emmanual Goldenburg Gene Wilder Gerald Silberman John Wayne Marion Morrison Kirk Douglas Issur Danielovitch Richard Burton Richard Jenkins, Jr. Roy Rogers Leonard Slye Woody Allen Allen Stewart Konigsberg

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  Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.

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  The smiling Spring comes in rejoicing, And surly Winter grimly flies. Now crystal clear are the falling waters, And bonnie blue are the sunny skies. Fresh o'er the mountains breaks forth the morning, The ev'ning gilds the oceans's swell: All creatures joy in the sun's returning, And I rejoice in my bonnie Bell. The flowery Spring leads sunny Summer, The yellow Autumn presses near; Then in his turn come gloomy Winter, Till smiling Spring again appear. Thus seasons dancing, life a...