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  RE: https://mastodon.online/@electrek/117331978705833092 When I replaced my Tesla Model Y early last year, I seriously looked at the ID.Buzz. But the price was way too high for the range offered.

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  Gosh PayPal, I hope that "Manage Your Crypto!" notification was worth losing all notification permissions forever!

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  So have we found out which MAGA podcaster got caught getting biblical with Mr. Ed yet?

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  Tim Tebow is a maga goon, and should fuck off into the ocean

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  Saint Luigi, hear my plea...

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  Graphics cards should cost no more than two hundred and seventy-five US dollars and have a woman/alien/monster truck in impractical skin-tight armor on the box. We have strayed from this and lost the intercession of St. Catherine of Bologna.

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  We need a thousand more luigis.

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  A deep, heartfelt "go fuck yourself and your horse" to every single godsdamned motherfucker who insists on sending a dogfucked text message or email with a six digit code instead of using my existing fucking password. Shit on thy head and thy lunch.

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  My sibling in Satan. It is still August. Do not disrespect or hasten the passage of time by putting up your goddamn 12' skellys.

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  Well this is fun. Looks like a Visa debit card (that I never use) got popped. Someone tried to use it to spend $20 for a game and $20 on a study guide.

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  I know that my neighbors have a dog. And I know that they have a back yard bordering on mine, with a simple chain-link fence separating the two. And I know that they will let the dog into the back yard for fresh air and other business. AND YET I, an adult man with a mortgage and a checkbook and crippling social anxiety, I'll still look out the window in my kitchen and see the neighbor's dog in their back yard and instinctively say "puppy!"

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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@verge/117005510585926954 I would sooner trust a rabid badger with applying my hemorrhoid cream.

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  RE: https://infosec.exchange/@0x00string/117004735485760298 Now, I'm just a simple doctor of internetology with all the legal training of a parrot owned by a superfan of Law and Order prior to her untimely and not-at-all-suspicious death, but I'm confident this is guilty of Wrongness in the First Degree, with Aggravated Incorrectitude. The appropriate phraseiotology is "EXEMPT from state and local laws". This tightly binds the lesser fey courts as if with iron or DNS TXT entr...

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  Who up swimmin' out past the breakers, watchin' the world die?

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  I have a sudden craving for those little powdered donuts. I assume this is because someone is walking across my bakery.

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  RE: https://infosec.exchange/@drsbaitso/117000728954287847 Oh, and the best McDonalds Happy Meals featuring Coca-Cola carbonated beverages are best after you season them with Clorox splashless bleach gel.

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  it's monday as fuck out here

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  I have heard so many dumb things today and at least half of them are Google's fault.

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  Hey fellow grocery store visitor. If you have to wear a shirt saying you’re an ALPHA, we both know that’s a lie.

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  @deviantollam@defcon.social The closest thing I can think of is pop-up/under ads. And considering (outside a very small crowd of ad thugs) those had the popularity of genital herpes...

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  Mail-ordered Christ on an e-bike. After researching on TheWirecutter I tried to order a couch from Burrow on July 1st, and I think I actually succeeded? Their website listed it in stock, but I didn't get any shipping notifications for three weeks. I finally emailed them about it, and the couch immediately went from "in stock" to "backordered for 12 weeks". Since I expected already have the furniture by now, I told them to cancel and refund the order last night. Instead...

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  I'm about to eat a supermarket salad for lunch, it is a dangerous world out there. It's like Vietnam, sort of. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave solider.

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  Oh gods damnit. How the fuck am I in Blackreach again?! I was playing Balatro!

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  I'm not normally the kind of guy that needs $90 in "special tools" to bust a nut off. But today, I was. Did.

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  All things considered, I'd rather be mistaken for the baseball player who has my name or the porno director who has my name than the gas executive that has my name. Still my fuckin' email address.

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  RE: https://infosec.exchange/@briankrebs/116959137948884825 There's gonna be a damn mini-recession from the sudden loss of insider trading when he finally chokes on his last cheeseburger.

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  I wonder what would happen if I sent this video to my boss and asked for a 20% raise now instead of wasting a year on disasters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QorWpn2O_sI

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  RE: https://sunny.garden/@Artists_Ali/116920398941707514 From experience: That's too many thoughts. Put some of thoughts back. Trust me. If my mouth could work as fast as my brain, neither one of us would enjoy the experience.

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  Jesus tittyfuckin' Christ I hate Shopify and all its dogfucked tendrils.

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  I need a bigger house or less hobbies