donni saphire
donni@mastodon.social
<p>Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally</p>
Posts
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Can’t go to sleep until I think of a foolproof solution to all current problems
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Dreams: Are they real? Scientists are terrified. "This could be a dream RIGHT NOW!" one researcher screamed
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That which doesn't kill you makes you extremely tired and somewhat grumpy
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Angry about the things I can’t change, nervous about the things I can
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It’s nice to feel good for like 5 minutes and briefly forget how everything is fucked
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Realized I hate stuff that sucks. Huge epiphany for me
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I’m not doing my best, but I’m trying my okayest
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I have never had a plan. I just show up at different places, chewing on a hunk of bread
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*gets a small splinter* So this is how I die
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It’s so lonely being the only human being who has ever experienced loneliness
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I’m just trying to have a chill time and eat a nutritious variety of vegetables
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Sometimes I let myself feel optimistic for 3 to 5 minutes, as a little treat
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Getting upset all the time is bad for you, which is also upsetting
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Sorry I never replied to your text. I just didn’t want to
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Perhaps it is bad for our mental health to live in a world that makes us feel crazy every day
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I hate it when people in a movie get into trouble. Can’t they just have fun up there
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Trying to stay upbeat and positive about all the unchecked villainy and madness
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Listen to your body? Nah. My body is an idiot who cries for snacks
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I’m just trying to think positive thoughts while never forgetting those who have wronged me
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I hope my bones are having a nice time in there
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Humans are so cute with our little hopes and dreams
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Live like a cat. Hiss at strangers. Eat your own hair. Be free
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My favorite way to relax is to lie down for bed and suddenly rethink my entire life
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In a recent study, scientists found we are all flawed, mortal beings capable of cruelty as well as kindness. Said one scientist, "Damn, bro”
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I don’t struggle with my demons. We just hang out and have a nice time together
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Been thinking about my life, and I recommend not doing that
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Tomorrow is another day, even though we just had one of those. Nobody asked for this
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HOTEL CALIFORNIA CLERK: You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave ME: That’s weird as hell and I’m leaving
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I love to stay up late and have fun even though it’s not fun and I don’t love it
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Yes, I would like a taste of my own medicine. That is why I take the medicine