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• Post #4507024

  how do you dramatically increase your chances of being struck by lightning

• Post #4360484

  if you steal the papal tiara, do you then become de facto pope?

• Post #4152410

  seems like somewhere in the 1970s-1980s every other director said...let's have a guy be set on fire

• Post #4148940

  locke believed in a "tabula rasa" or razor table

• Post #4103979

  would i *like to join us for breakfast* ? shit fuck fuck s h i t fucking no

• Post #4101062

  reading documents from the inquisition turns out not to be very uplifting

• Post #3948009

  *supermarket, meats section* David Cameron: “…Oh.” *a pig’s head is sitting in the refrigerated case* Pig’s Head: “David.” Cameron: “I wasn’t expecting to see you.” *adjusts hair* Pig’s Head: “It’s been a while.” Pig’s Head: “...You look nice. How’ve you been?” Cameron: “Busy.” Pig’s Head: “Mm.”

• Post #3920260

  finally

• Post #3919218

  evidently the value of the discontinued McDonald's moist towelette have increased tremendously, from 0 dollars to somewhere on the order of 5 to 35 dollars depending on quality imagine seeing these on antiques roadshow

• Post #3893151

  this account is mainly for idiotic silly ideas and shenanigans that's right, this account supports isis

• Post #3847134

  lonely, probably joining the communist party later

• Post #3836758

  red sky at morn, sailor's delight, i think that's how it goes

• Post #3817787

  pareidoliaphobia

• Post #3771998

  lindsey graham, up there moonwalking with mohamed atta and timothy mcveigh

• Post #3750065

  do any condolences cards say "you need to start blaming yourself"

• Post #3659149

  oregon trail: you have contracted a genocidal worldview

• Post #3592461

  in france, they don't call it french toast it's "franch tosst"

• Post #3416919

  people in british zombie movies are like, this is terribly inconvenient, has everyone forgotten how to queue up properly

• Post #3414850

  good to see John Hodgman and Justin Long from the mac/pc commercials doing ozempic commercials now, good, good. really couldn't wait to have them reading medication side effects to me. long time coming but the payoff was pretty damn sweet.

• Post #3414077

  have you ever seen The Beach (2000)? wtf was that?

• Post #3414043

  hey, do you like being forced to download useless crap? then you're going to love microsoft

• Post #2547648

  quietly slipping my manifesto into every little free library i can find

• Post #2434742

  i hope that my boosts embolden you to make stranger and more bewildering posts

• Post #2369572

  No Gods, No Masters, Just Great Savings!

• Post #2369568

  finally planning that vacation to scranton

• Post #2369565

  *from an alley* hey, buddy, you wanna co-author an article?

• Post #1893918

  need another cuppa. some lapsang souchong will do the trick nicely.

• Post #1893917

  been reading a awful lot of x-men character biographies, so, that's probably not a good sign

• Post #1893916

  was just thinking about bungee jumping and then all of a sudden i see someone bungee jumping dont tell me thats baader-meinhof

• Post #1893915

  flash of insight? not on my watch