Lizzy 💫

Stoned_Deva_@mas.to

crocs enthusiast, cat lady, lukewarm takes at best <a href="https://mas.to/tags/ADHD" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#ADHD</a> <a href="https://mas.to/tags/TeamOrca" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#TeamOrca</a><a href="https://justmytoots.com/Stoned_Deva_@mas.to" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no">https://justmytoots.com/Stoned_Deva_@mas.to</a>

Posts

Post #4214313
I hope this email defibrilates your cold dead heart.
Post #4183694
Asking the gastroenterologist why I have trouble swallowing pills but not potato chips
Post #4017783
But that's my emotional support box of manuals for every product I've purchased the last 15 years
Post #3970301
If by "meditation" you mean sitting in silence rawdogging your intrusive thoughts, I want no part of it.
Post #3869916
so just to recap... don't eat the food, don't breathe the air, don't leave your home
Post #3838600
They should let the person who invented naps invent more stuff.
Post #3813983
As if this apocalypse wasn't disappointing enough, now we're being wiped out by a diarrhea parasite
Post #3789937
Moving a home office to your parents' living room should be considered grounds for a Nobel Peace Prize nomination
Post #3745868
Doing hot girl shirt... ya know, just questioning every decision I've ever made
Post #2399677
Ozzy, no! 😭 and with an idol in his pocket... smh
Post #1998742
In case you&#39;re looking for a bad girl
Post #1869229
People are threatening to come and visit. Make it stop!
Post #1551928
it's bad bitch o'clock I say turning on my heating pad
Post #1410037
Good night to people who tolerate me, and you only
Post #1356328
LOGGING ON
Post #805239
Introducing myself to the new neighbors by screaming at sportsball like a lunatic
Post #762861
I&#39;m not like this because I&#39;m on Mastodon. I&#39;m on Mastodon because I&#39;m like this.
Post #698722
@swampgas 💕
Post #664377
could a depressed person do this? [eats a third bagel]
Post #656917
As a semi-sane person I had no idea I&#39;d be yelling at my microwave and dryer this often
Post #559034
[updating my dating profile] Just an old rolling stone who rolled over the hill
Post #559032
Some diggety lots of doubt
Post #559030
Gather ye rosebuds mfrs
Post #559026
I keep thinking how bored my poor neighbors are gonna be. Who are they gonna listen to screaming at Rockets games and such? 👉
Post #399812
Correction: nothing says adulting quite like the joy of bundling your home and auto insurance... cha-ching! 🥳
Post #286456
[me, trying to sell my friend on a weekend trip] Don&#39;t you want to get murdered at a tiny home in the country?
Post #269372
Finally bit the bullet, moving to the country to eat a shitload of peaches