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• Don't fuck with a working man's lunch.

  My ex-wife, after an argument the previous night, packed my lunch for me the next day, and that lazy see you next Tuesday NEVER packed my lunch, so I should have suspected something. She had put about 1/4 inch of mayo and mustard on it (actually I think it was Miracle Whip). I took a bite and spit it out. For a second I considered wiping it off, but instead I tossed both sandwiches in the trash and headed out to Taco Bell. She couldn’t fucking stand for me to spend money on myself without her ge...