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• Post #4151587

• Post #4101280

  it's the weekend, babye

• Post #4100673

  my cat is so good at her job. eating. meowing. purring. playing with toys. she does it all.

• Post #3873182

• Post #3311871

  chopping wood at my secluded cabin when a fancy car pulls up and a bunch of government types hop out. "we need you urgently, someone is wrong on the internet." i wipe the honest sweat from my brow. "you know i don't do that any more."

• Post #853920

  i posted a funny picture of a duck on bluesky only to learn the duck is both famous and dead. i feel so out of the loop on celebrity bird deaths.

• Post #853919

  bluesky's new (temp) ceo is a venture capitalist. get ready for an early september when bird site 2 goes the way of toys r us.

• Post #853918

  if you think about it ranma½ is a chick tract in its own way

• Post #853916

  in the birthplace of rock 'n roll (akron, ohio)

• Post #853915

  there have been some questions about my tattoo and what it signifies, and what that means for my campaign. to be clear: it is a product of its time and of peer pressure. i am not the same person i was when i got a full back tattoo of christopher walken's face from the vhs box art of the prophecy.

• Post #853913

• Post #853912

  i like to joke that paul hollywood is a monster because how could anyone associated with gbbo be a monster, but today someone replied to that with a picture of him in a nazi uniform at a party. do all english people do this have these skeletons in their closet??

• Post #853911

• Post #853910

  if it's her birthday and it's my birthday and i shoot my shot am i giving a birthday gift to her or myself? much to think about.

• Post #655513

  if i have pissed farther than others it is because i stood on the shoulders of giants (they're really mad at me now)

• Post #253349

  in 2017 a popular twitter game was to type a partial phrase then see what your phone auto-completes it with. this proved so popular that it is now the only business model in the US.