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• Post #4502936

  "You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4478297

  "Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm... #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4452361

  This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything... #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4384617

  The first nonabsolute number is the number of people for whom the table is reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of people who actually turn up... #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4351718

  "You mean," said Arthur, "you mean you can see into my mind?" "Yes," said Marvin. Arthur stared in astonishment. "And ...?" Arthur. "It amazes me how you can manage to live in anything that small." "Ah," said Arthur, "abuse." "Yes," confirmed Marvin. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4339142

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ... says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that "it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4312991

  The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of Arthur Dent waking up and suddenly remembering where he was. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4299764

  So long, and thanks for all the fish! #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4284782

  WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4255570

  "If I asked you where the hell we were," said Arthur weakly, "would I regret it?" Ford stood up. "We're safe," he said. "Oh good," said Arthur. "We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet." "Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bo...

• Post #4229725

  The sign said: Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion. "It seemed to me," said Wonko the Sane, "that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4142810

  There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4129032

  "I would like to say that it is a very great pleasure, honour and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can't because my lying circuits are all out of commission."—Marvin #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4053864

  At the center of an uncertain and possibly illusionary universe there would always be tea. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #4009534

  "But the plans were on display . . ." "On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." "With a torch." "Ah, well the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But look, you found the notice, didn't you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door...

• Post #3988251

  "Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3971093

  “Funny,” he intoned funereally, “how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.” #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3964823

  Listen, three eyes! Don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3957004

  "Hello, ladies. You may not know me yet, but you're gonna miss me tomorrow."—Zaphod Beeblebrox #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3943746

  "Er..." [Zarquon] said, "hello. Er, look, I'm sorry I'm a bit late. I've had the most ghastly time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment." He seemed nervous of the expectant awed hush. He cleared his throat. "Er, how are we for time?" he said, "have I just got a min—" And so the Universe ended. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3922735

  Good. Ooooh, it's getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling roaring sound going past what I'm suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that . . . wind! Is that a good name? It'll do . . . perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I've found out what it's for. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3869896

  "Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off." Zaphod #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3837824

  "Share and Enjoy" is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3829309

  Once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3819620

  “I don’t want to die now! I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!” #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3771652

  "This must be Thursday," said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, "I never could get the hang of Thursdays." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3765213

  What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Ask a glass of water. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3753785

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ... says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that "it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3742817

  "The insurance business is completely screwy now. You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?" "Really?" said Arthur. "No, I didn't. For what offense?" Trillian frowned. "What do you mean, offense?" "I see." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

• Post #3731739

  "Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot