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• Post #3196718

  Today I have rectified a water-pressure issue, cooked some spectacular pork chops for the week, and sorted the drip on the toilet overflow. You may worship me. With gin. Don’t touch my feet or anything, you weirdos.

• Post #3196717

  Ah. The C-mas jiggling begins. My mother might be visiting today. As might my son, my ex, and the juvenile step-mother. Gin from tea-cups until it’s all over?

• Post #3196716

  I am so very tired.

• Post #3196715

  I saw someone refer to Baileys as ‘Christmas Milk’ recently. If I freeze this, is it a Mini Milk? I’ll provide my own stick-joke.

• Post #3196714

  @dabertime I will celebrate #WorldIntrovertDay by staying indoors, and not people-ing.

• Post #3196713

  What thing that isn’t a hat have you put on your head today? I used a wok.

• Post #3196712

  I keep forgetting to update this. Today I have cleaned all the unexplained ‘sticky’ and staining off my knock-off Tupperware. The secret is to soak in REALLY hot water, with a good dollop of bicarb, the gunk wipes clean off.

• Post #3196711

  I don’t think that caviar was safe to eat, and there’s a dollop of it on the kitchen table.

• Post #3196710

  Air-fryer Yorkshire pudding. I only made one, those paws can span a piano octave.

• Post #3196709

  No cards yesterday. Actually, the pizza came in a cardboard box, so that might count? I bought it myself, but that’s not the point.

• Post #3196708

  You can use the Gü ramekins that internet-experts say you should throw out to make air-fryer Yorkshire Puddings. Related: I’m sitting down.

• Post #3196707

  A wasp bit me on the penis.

• Post #3196706

  I’m posting in case I get an overdue fine, like a library book, or something. Nothing of interest to report, the neighbours still haven’t gone on holiday, which is very rude of them.