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• Lemme tell you you’re going to have to pull me off him before we’re done

  In Minecraft, obviously

• TIL the screeching sound of peeling tape is caused by tiny sonic booms

• Connecticut Passes Bill Spotlighting UConn Icon Sue Bird as Official State Bird

  Sue Bird is officially a state bird. Connecticut lawmakers passed a bill naming the UConn legend a co-state bird every March.

• Excerpts from Chief Justice John Roberts’ High School English Essays

  “Huck shows great disrespect for the Court’s precedent in Dred Scott when aiding the fugitive Jim, presumably due to liberal indoctrination by the Widow Doug…

• Pastor Clarifies That Giant, Shiny Trump Statue Worshippers Love Is NOT An Idol

  Pastor Mark Burns, the president’s informal “spiritual advisor,” wants to make one thing very clear about the extremely tall gold statue of Donald Trump that was officially dedicated last week in Doral, Miami. “Let me be clear: this is not a golden calf. We worship the Lord Jesus Christ and Him alone,” he wrote on Twitter. He’s technically right, just as Rene Magritte was technically right that his painting of a pipe was not actually a pipe. In the most literal sense, the statue of Trump, whic...

• SoFi Stadium workers threaten to strike if ICE isn’t banned from World Cup games

  Isaac Martinez has been as a cook at SoFi Stadium for four years. He’s worked dozens of events including NFL games, a Super Bowl, Taylor Swift concerts, Wrestlemania and the college football national championship game. And he’s never been afraid to come to work. Until now.