Post #968256

long covid is sooo fucking dumb, I swear to fuck :axolotl_angry: :zerotwo_dead: really, though, being an artist and watching other artists, whether they're friends, acquaintences, or total strangers, doing art is a complex feeling... on one hand, it not only helps me get through the day, I'm also genuinely happy when artists are able to art whether that's half a poem, a little sketch, funny comic voice overs, 3 hour long lore essays, or a whole game :shiba_love: but... there's also a part of me that feels the pain of being bedridden, being unable to even voice call my partners because talking is exhaustng, of being unable to do my art all the more keenly :cat_frown: each day is another day that passes me by is another that I don't get to truly live... I somehow survived past 30 waiting for something I couldn't identify until I finally realised I was trans, only to get one or two years before society's unability to act on empathy shrunk my world to my bed, my microwave, my bathroom, and the stairs between them... I have all of the tools I need for two of my arts (violin and voice) including a computer put together in secret by my friends, yet all I can do most days is watch those wonderful tools gather dust... tools that I would have given a leg for, yet here I am with both my legs, all of the tools, and a neural system so damaged that it can't use the body I have :cat_facepalm: I feel like a person in a do or die situation whose self-preservation limiters have been turned off :frog_think: my bones and muscles can handle and do so much, but using any more than a sliver of that ability borrows my ability to function for the next few days or even weeks, and all the while, I can give nearly nothing back to the people that help me survive :sad_panda: so I'm here with others whose bodies have been ravaged by long covid and mecfs, watching people build their futures, feeling like I'm hardly living... people talk about hell in terms of fire and pain and torture, but if you're going to build a hell, that's probably a waste of perfectly good workers compared to just giving the torturees severe mecfs and leaving them :bear_shrug: tired... I'm tired... and frustrated... #Disability #LongCovid #MECFS p.s. send this to your friends that don't mask or get vaccines, I guess, even this suffering might as well be educational for someone