I've been divorced for 2 years. I've believed it was my fault. I had been drinking. I had been very frustrated with my spouse. It manifested in anger but never verbal or physical violence, it was poor regulation on my emotions leading to outbursts. Some conversations with family and friends recently have made me aware of conditions I was too close to realize the problem. Simple things like, my spouse made my friend and I watch football in the garage because he tended to be loud. Changing prearranged plans to accommodate them. My mom made a very interesting comment when the divorce was finalized, "do something that makes you happy". My mom is a wonderful and patient person, given my dad, take my word for it.