Post #676833

Here's something I only just figured out how to explain about myself: I'm happiest when I'm confidently pursuing something I want. This seems like a personality trait, so what I can say about it may be helpful to others. To be clear, "something" doesn't have to be physical, it could for example be knowledge, or attention from an interesting person. I don't mean flow state. Flow is great but not the point here. I also don't mean anticipation. There's a lot of advice being given out there that includes "try to want less". To me, that's unhelpful at best. When someone gives me something I want as a reward for doing what they want, it doesn't make me happy. It annoys me instead. When, with a lot of effort, I get something I want even though I didn't think I could make it happen, I feel almost nothing. When I do nothing for it, and get it anyway, I don't really care. It's difficult to make me happy with gifts unless they're tools or I really like you. When I think there's a decent chance I can get what I want, doing the work it takes is pure joy. And then what's normally considered the reward is good too, in a "that was nice!" way. I used to think this feeling was part of romance only. Life's much easier understanding that's not true. What should I call this? "The joy of pursuit"?