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@maplesaga@lemmy.world

Paying on a kids birthday

2026-03-13 23:54 UTC

My wife says if we invite our friends and their 3 year olds to my childs birthday that its customary to pay for everyone. Is this reasonable?

Replies (14)

  • I’ve literally never heard of going to a kid’s party and being expected to pay for anything. Pushing 50, kids’ parties are still a blast. I can hang back with the parents or jump In and give shoulder ride’s and spins and other fun stuff.

    Open ##636760

  • @fizzle@quokk.au 2026-03-14 03:38

    Here thats certainly customary, but its not necessarily a situation down “meal” for adults. I went to a 3 year olds party a few weeks ago. At a kind of cafe that had a playground. The food laid out was just sausage rolls and little pizzas and things like that. You could order coffee and juice and that was paid for by the hosts. If you wanted to order a meal you would’ve had to pay for that. Myself and my 2 kids attended, and we gave the birthday kid a book, and enough money in a card to cover the cost for the 3 of us. YMMV with the cash gifts, but when our little darlings were 1 we put on a party in a park and made a tidy profit. Lots of work though.

    Open ##637607

  • @osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org 2026-03-14 04:59

    Speaking only for our/our kids' social circle, It is customary for the party's host to pay for the guests. For our kids' parties, we will always pay for all of the kids' stuff, be it food or admittance or whatever, while accompanying adults are expected to cover themselves.

    Open ##638009

  • @IWW4@lemmy.zip 2026-03-14 02:26

    Yes you have to pay for the party you are hosting… fuck…

    Open ##2114510

  • @BarHocker@discuss.tchncs.de 2026-03-14 00:05

    If you invite, then yes. However, customs don't need to be followed. I would just communicate that you don't intend to pay so that there is no false expectations.

    Open ##2114511

  • Usually the host pays. If it's at a sit-down restaurant with a menu (where different food have different prices and people can order sides ans dessertand drinks and stuff) everyone pays for themselves... but surely you're not having a kids birthday party at a sit-down restaurant? It's a place that specialises in servicing children and hosting child parties, where you can order a buffet for everyone/the kids, right? But as long as you communicate expectations clearly on the invite you can do as you like. For example: "There will be buffet style food served for the kids to eat. Accompanying adults can buy food at a café next to the playground." Or "Entry to the jump yard is X:- per child. Since each family pays for themselves we don't expect birthday gifts" (make sure your child knows this). Parties can be made pretty cheap, so I would prefer a type of party that fits your budget rather than create an expensive party where some kids might not affort to join the celebrations. It's not the location or fancy foods or special activities/entertainment, it's the people and (for many kids) the theme, that makes it special.

    Open ##2114513

  • @baronvonj@piefed.social 2026-03-14 00:04

    That probably varies based on local culture. But I've never lived anywhere that it's not the norm that unless otherwise stated in the invitation, the host is paying for the party.

    Open ##2114514

  • @WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 2026-03-14 03:00

    Kids parties at home are fun because they are cheap but the downside is you have to host and clean. Parties at destinations are more expensive but you don't have to clean and if the place is exciting enough you don't have to host either. Pick your poison.

    Open ##2114516

  • @daannii@lemmy.world 2026-03-14 20:24

    Yeah and I think this is why a lot of people do house birthday parties. Or at the park or a local free space (some small towns have these). It's expensive to throw a party either way. But it's much cheaper to have a BBQ at your home. Now days, most younger adults (in the U.S) can't afford a home. So this limits their options.

    Open ##2114517

  • @ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 2026-03-14 03:29

    "stop what you are doing for this and spend your own time and money to be near us" It is pretty unfair to ask so much of them. If they come out to you then you should be a good host and cover their food. If they want to get drinks that's their expense.

    Open ##2114518

  • @Formfiller@lemmy.world 2026-03-15 04:41

    Yeah

    Open ##2114519

  • @hobata@lemmy.ml 2026-03-14 01:30

    Maybe your friends and their 3-year-olds aren't the best choice for your child's birthday, and a restaurant might not be the best place for your child's birthday party at all. I just wanted to mention that, since you didn't say what your child actually wants or how old it is.

    Open ##2114521

  • @BCsven@lemmy.ca 2026-03-15 00:07

    Yes.

    Open ##2114522

  • @benderbeerman@lemmy.world 2026-03-14 01:26

    Customary? Yes. Reasonable? That's far more complicated. Really depends on your own values

    Open ##2114523