Post #473770

2026-03-01 17:03 UTC

The smart move is: don’t get your honey where you make your money. Jane is not interested in an intimate relationship with you. She is being a polite and considerate coworker looking for support from a friendly face. Help her without turning it into more than super and teamwork, and it will eventually just turn into a deeper relationship if she really is into you. If not, then it was never going to anyway. John is your subordinate. He is reaching out to you with trust for support in this time, but he ultimately cannot get the support he needs in his romantic/personal life from work. If the only thing keeping him there is her then he should leave, and you should support him there. Either make it a place he wants to work at outside of his (AND YOUR) romantic interests or use your professional resources to find him something that is a better fit. You need to be very careful with both these dynamics. What would you rather have here: someone looking to build interdepartment trust and friendship and a subordinate who wants to be at work, or a subordinate who feels like you don’t care about him and a coworker who feels like you think so highly of yourself that every girl who talks to you wants to date you? There is no third option where you get the girl and fix the kid in the situation as you describe it.

Replies (1)

@Bread@sh.itjust.works 2026-03-04 13:28

Look, I understand your point and I shouldn’t consider any woman being nice to me as flirting… But in this particular case, she just asked me for my phone number yesterday so she could quote " get to know me better and continue the conversation over the weekend." We have odd work weeks and this is the start of our weekend. I don’t think there is any mystery about that part anymore. I had asked if she was seeing John and she said no, they are just friends. As for John, he was denied for the role he really wanted to apply to for very dumb reasons and I am very upset for him. There is nothing I can personally do about improving his situation as the things he hates about our company are not within my or even my superior’s control. He has told me he can’t leave either as he can’t find a job elsewhere. I want to be supportive of John, but I am even trying to push it in this direction, its just going there on its own and I am currently not stopping it as she is an awesome person I would like to get to know better. You are right though, there is no option where “I get the girl” and not burn bridges and not torch themental health of my coworker. Even if I said no, he will still be hurt as she is clearly not interested in him. Just to a lesser degree.

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