Post #4474103

2026-07-18 14:28 UTC

@es0mhi@tilde.zone @WPalant@infosec.exchange eh, everyone in the activist circles (like, the ones that go outside and try to change things) that i've seen, talks about the importance of self-care (and mutual care as well), cause otherwise those organizations fall apart. the other thing is, when you talk to people, their first reaction is always emotional. if you want to get people to think, you have to make them feel like you respect them. as in, whatever it takes, even if you actually don't. otherwise you're wasting energy. and it's really hard to appear respectful if you're exhausted and don't let yourself rest? tired people are easily irritated and can't think rationally. and the last thing, on fedi, you're preaching to the choir, one more political post is not going to change anyone's mind here or cause them to act—especially if the first thing they notice is the lack of a cw. not following community guidelines kind of overshadows whatever you're trying to say (like it would in any other community). saying this as someone who used to have CWs auto-expand cause i don't like them or having to click on every post (but phanpy doesn't have this feature). just, like, what's the point in wasting your energy on this. social media in general is kind of a trap where it can feel like you're doing something to change the world, while having literally no actual effect on it. and the cw wars, it just makes everyone involved more tired and angry.

Replies (1)

@es0mhi@tilde.zone 2026-07-18 15:47

@ww@xyzzy.link Thank you for your detailed reply. As you know, one important thing about social media is that you really need to be patient and explain yourself, because the lack of bodily information doesn't make things easier here. I agree with a lot of what you say, and you have some wise words, too. However, there is one point on which I strongly disagree. It's related to the core of the original @WPalant@infosec.exchange post. I think it's an exaggeration to say that people's first reaction when you talk to them is emotional. I would say, emotion is always involved, but the civilisation process was quite successfull in teaching us to control our emotions and not let them interfere with rationality all the time. Unfortunately, we've taken a few steps backwards in that area in recent years. In any case, starting a conversation by manipulating people with 'fake respect' is not a good idea. "Respect" seems to be one of those ideas of our time, as if it were the most important thing. But that's not enough. It's also about 'honesty' and 'sincerity'. We can’t always talk to each other as equals, and in this sense, the CW function touches a sore spot. I also don't think life is about using your energy as 'efficiently' as possible (even though e.g. Tai Chi,, aims to teach the opposite). Biological life is a waste of energy, and fundamentally, I think we should embrace that. What you say about the Fediverse is true: 'One more political post is not going to change anyone's mind here'. However, I wouldn't want to be here if it were a political-free zone. I enjoy talking to people about what I think is important in life, and I like hearing the same from them. (Then there are posts that are more like me talking to myself, so I can easily look back and see what was on my mind at a certain time.) I'm generally also good at ignoring things I don't care about, and I wonder why this ability seems to have been lost by so many people.

Open ##4474106