Post #4447215

Evening, fuckers. Know that feeling when you want something but you self-sabotage saying "I won't be any good at it" or "sounds like a lot of work" or "I missed that bus, whatever", or performing plain old impostor syndrome? Sure you do. If you broke out of the #trans closet as an adult chances are you agonized over it for years that felt like centuries. I like the name @tendstofortytwo@social.treehouse.systems coined for it back in '21, "fear of having missed out": I feel like as a newcomer, I will always be a burden on the community; the worst player in the team, the one who’s always posting help threads without contributing back, or the one who doesn’t get any of the inside jokes. That's me looking at the girls who ran out of their homes, who started HRT with birth control pills, who got silicone injections, who worked the streets and the sheets while still young. Who dressed like they wanted to feel, who took shit from nobody, who didn't ask for permission and offered no apologies. Things changed, obviously. Society changed. I met them and we became friends and lovers. And I decided I could be one of them too. A whole community had emerged from the shadows so I joined the rear ranks and I marched with them and in time they were my people. What I call Transtravalandia. Sure, you may conquer the fear by yourself but it's easier when someone meets you halfway. We may bark but we don't bite (well, not without asking first): that much I discovered at the ripe old age of forty. Give yourself a fucking chance.