Post #4409292

2026-08-06 07:05 UTC

In last days I realized I hate #SmallTalk even more than I thought. It's like they ask you random questions about you - and expect standard "normie mainstream" answers. But well... I am grim grumpy loner, who is absolutely uninterested in most things most people care about or actively boycotts them, and I often have opposite priorities and different value system. I just cannot provide them answers they would like. So they often double down and press, telling me how I am wrong, mansplaining my own life/future/goals to me, because I certainly "will/should change" and judge my lifestyle. I am too lazy, too invested in wrong things in wrong way, too bitter, cold or emotionally detached. Or they feel invited to ask series of more personal questions than I'd feel comfortable to answer, leaving me emotionally exhausted. Just. Leave. Me. Alone.

Replies (1)

@madargon@is-a.cat 2026-08-06 07:34

They often come from privileged position where they don't have to think about people having bad things in life, at least worse than arbitrary "acceptable" threshold. In their world model everyone had rather good past/childhood, have supportive or at least "good enough" family, could affort most "standard" things, didn't have any mental problems, maybe except small "trendy/aesthetic" ones, just little innocent quirks... They don't think some "normal" topics could trigger chain of bad memories which would make me feel awful next several hours. And it's even worse in some inevitable formal interactions, when they start analyzing my body language, affected by anxiety, depression, years of fear and low self-worth. Sometimes they loudly wonder about which emotional/mental problem I could have. They I feel forced to explain myself before they come to conclusions worse than reality. So I have to speak about difficult dynamics in my abusive family, feeling how unfair it is when already emotionally violated person has to explain themselves when other, more privileged people feel uncomfortable around them. In less formal exchanges sometimes I purposely mention bad things from my past in most cynical dark way to make them more uncomfortable. Well, I didn't asked for these invasive questions or personal comments, so now deal with answer... And then everyone is surprised I mostly hate interacting with people.

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