Post #4329582

I’ve actually been having a statistics thought is both a bit depressing but also helps me feel a lot less rejected by not being able to have a girlfriend living nearby: So, queer people are roughly 10% - 20% of the population in the US, and assuming roughly half are queer women/fems, that puts us at 5% - 10% of the population. The amount of people actively dating in any population is obviously much lower than that, so I’m looking at an even smaller percentage of the total population. Then you add on “open to dating polyamorous transfems,” and the percentage gets even smaller. Now, most of my partners tend to be trans and I do lean towards t4t in dating. Trans people are in the 1% ballpark for the US population, and transfems are probably less than half of that since you also have transmascs and people who don’t identify with either. Then further carving that pie up into the subset of polyamorous, actively dating, and in my age range…well, that’s a very very small percentage of any total population. On top of all those things, they have to be people who would click with me, find me personally attractive, be in places where I would not only meet but interact with them…I mean, we’re dealing with far far fewer people than 1 in 100, maybe less than 1 in 1,000 people. This is one reason why it makes sense so many of us polyam transfem t4t sapphics tend to wind up in relationships with people who live further away - just the law of large numbers that you are more likely to find that special outlier person in a larger population. It also makes sense that it just takes trans folks longer than others to find their special people, and requires patience and time. Importantly though, it means it’s not because we’re necessarily being actively rejected all the time, as the normal rate of things not clicking when trying to date would mean we still need time and patience. Lastly, it means there are likely thousands of people out there still who we can have successful and lovely relationships with…they just might live a bit far away 😅