Four days of minimal sleep and night terrors are hitting hard. I’m tired, angry and frustrated. But beyond grateful for my community whom have become family to me and held me up. I’ve never felt more free in my life coming out has saved me, I had no idea how much repressing myself and being someone I’m not took from me. I’ve been working through past traumas which has been difficult my ex left me with physical and mental scars I will have to carry with me for the rest of my life. He is still trying to make me pay and punish me, even though we don’t speak or see each other by refusing any help at all towards Emily’s upkeep. But he will take her out for meals and on days out while I skip meals and ration my energy. His latest fuck you is refusing to contribute anything towards the gym equipment and gym clothing. I am going to need to get for Emily in time for her starting the last year of college. I’m so tired of struggling and if it wasn’t for my community I don’t think I would make it through the dark and exhausting days.