Post #4250866

I stopped at a local record shop while on my lunch break today, and while flipping through the bins, a guy in another aisle was speaking VERY LOUDLY into his cellphone. I tried tuning him out, but he had one of those voices that cuts through sheet metal, so I gave up after a few minutes and just started listening to him. This guy was a walking caricature of the Jim Morrison superfan famously lampooned by Bruce McCulloch in "Kids in the Hall". The conversation he was having was with someone whom I quickly gathered was a fellow member of his Doors tribute band. But he spoke not like he was addressing a bandmate, but rather like a timeshare salesman who was armed only with details from the Doors' Wikipedia page. He spoke loudly and authoritatively of Doors-related trivia, of unofficial bootleg recordings which he was gifted and worthy enough to have in his collection, and of how the subtleties and nuances of said recordings could influence and inform their cover band's upcoming gigs. He mentioned several venues I'd never heard of, and which I made mental notes to never visit. He maligned other Doors tribute acts as "jokers" and "lightweights". He mused upon possible improvements they might make to their band's liquid light show. And he studded these pronouncements with periodic lines that seem lifted from motivational speaker presentations. It was utterly dreadful -- like having Vogon poetry spat at you -- and yet it was somehow fascinating. Interestingly, there's no way this guy was old enough to have seen the Doors perform live -- I suspect he was a few years younger than me, but appeared older due to a variety of poor health and personal hygiene choices. He also bellowed the entirety of this mobile phone soliloquy while mindlessly flipping through the K-Pop CD section. https://youtu.be/ZAvYUbtB3ro