Post #4071728

I have a very complicated relationship with my solar aspect right now. That's a lot to unpack, so I won't, but in the kind of more worldly consideration of this: I feel like prior summers have not felt so hard. It's possible that the fact that it got *so* hot so early this year has just extended the discomfort beyond the duration I can normally happily tolerate it, or that in prior years we've been wrapped up in the relationships with folks staying here and so our own physiological discomfort has been sidelined by navigating interpersonal strife when we're all cooped up inside. But it's like, it feels like when you're doing a scene and there's that *need* to surrender, but you're at that point of resistance where you cannot get your bodymind to let go. Except with this it's like, I physically *cannot* extend more surrender to the sun because it is sooo immediately physiologically dangerous to do so, so instead I'm living in that space of pain with physical and psychological resistance and it's SO frustrating.