Post #4050041

2026-07-23 22:00 UTC

So emotionally exhausted from yesterday’s struggle with keeping two bureaucracies I have no power over from keeping wrecking my life. It’s all finally resolved, got them to finally give up pedantry and carelessness to sign a damn form and complete the process. All the stress involved…I screamed and cried yesterday because my nervous system was so fucking overdone after a week of this. I am so tired of not having control over the means of keeping myself housed and fed and paying the bills they heap on me to do the things I’m trying to do to contribute to the community. But it’s done, and I did not break…just something inside me got very very bent and dented and is going to take some care and work to repair.

Replies (1)

@JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw 2026-07-23 22:04

What gets me too is I’m trying to do all this so I can work for the people funding me to pay back the “scholarship” to do something about the insufficient number of mental healthcare providers in our state (and country). I am doing things “the right way” and almost had it all taken away not because of anything I did or didn’t do, but because someone with a pen is obsessively pedantic and someone who drafted the form was actively negligent in doing their job. It’s so deflating, since this is my attempt at building a career where I no longer have to live in constant precarity. And it takes so much of the joy out of this new endeavor in my life. I resent this shitty and heartless system for doing this to me and so many others.

Open ##4050040