Post #3938948

@green@mk.absturztau.be because I'm terrified of them being disappointed in me, leaving me, and seeing me as a failure if I admit my mistakes and failures to them, so sometimes I lie to cover up my shortcomings bc I'm afraid and ashamed to admit I failed and scared they'll hate me and abandon me for being a disappointment and a failure. This of course says nothing about them, it's a consequence of my trauma, I'm trying to get better and not do this, but I still find myself instinctively doing it sometimes because the fear of being seen as a disappointment is too strong sometimes