Post #3340922
2026-06-17 19:04 UTC
RE: https://infosec.exchange/@hcf/116766730950368400
The year is 2028. Through-Skin-DNA-Sequencing has supplanted Brain-Waves-Pattern-Matching, which has supplanted Intestinal-Fauna-Surveying, which has supplanted #passkeys as “the last authentication factor you’ll ever need.” Logging in to your bank requires a username, account number, password, one-time SMS code, passkey, vomit sample, 5-minute EEG and 3-minute arm scan.
Incoming money transfers still take two working days to show up on your account. Tuesdays and Thursdays are bank holidays.
Replies (1)
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@khan_gnot@tooting.ch 2026-06-17 19:32
@oscherler@tooting.ch 2035. By chance, the financial police investigating this bank discovered that it was reselling its customers’ DNA, gastric samples, electroencephalogram data, and blood pressure readings on the dark web. The police are wondering whether this data was collected for that sole purpose.