Post #3162239

I don't know what to call this sort of mental pothole I'm stuck in much less what to do. I'm aware I'm fallible and biased. I'm aware that I want to overlook my flaws and focus on my virtues, that I want to skip over my mistakes and linger on my successes, that I want to avoid blame and responsibility -- especially when the damage is bad and the cleanup ugly. And because I'm aware of that, I find that when it comes to conflict I just...bend. I won't stand my ground, I won't defend myself. That inner voice just keeps saying "But you're biased. You can it's not your fault, you can say it seems unfair, you can say it seems hypocritical of them, you can say it feels like you're the victim --- but you WOULD say that, wouldn't you? Because you don't like to accept blame, you don't see other people's points of view that well especially when they conflict with your own, and of course you place more emphasis on your feelings -- the ones you feel! -- than that of others, whose feelings you know only at a remove". How do you balance that important inner voice that says "Thou too are mortal" with "But I think I'm right here" How do you determine where you are on the line between totally self-centered and so selfless you're a doormat? Especially when you'll second guess every placement you make short of "I'm always wrong"