Post #3144430

Growing up was rough, my piece of trash father was never a good father. He constantly abused me verbally and occasionally physically throughout my childhood. He never did any of the things that a father was supposed to do with their child, such as teach them things, take them out for a day of fun, be there for their child, etc. My father did none of that with me. He was never a father to me. He was also a bad influence to me. Sure, at the end, he half-assed tried to make amends, but it was too late, the damage was already done. To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully forgive him. He caused me a lot of suffering throughout the years, and the suffering was only exacerbated by childhood bullies in school. Fast forward some years, many years, and things take a turn for the worse with him when I came out as being transgender. He became one of the most hostile, bitter, spiteful people out there. He let it be known that he was not at all on board with my transition. He rejected me as his daughter. Ironically, he was desperately wanting a daughter just before I was born, but I was assigned male at birth instead. In a way, his wish for a daughter was fulfilled, but not in the way he expected. His rejection hurts me a lot. On one hand, I was hoping he would live longer so that he would eventually come around and actually be that father figure I was desperately missing and needing in my life, that he would accept me for who I am and treat me like his daughter, and to spend his final years making a real effort to make amends with me, but unfortunately, he passed away before he could do any of that. On the other hand, I'm sorry to say this, but I'm glad he's gone. He was a real thorn up my behind and he had been one of the biggest sources of mental pain and anguish throughout the years and even during his final years, he continued to be that source with his constant belittling, yelling, etc. It's one less person to stress about.