Post #3119145

I dunno what to do anymore. I studied hard. After I graduated, I continued to study some aspect of software development everyday. I did my best, I did it because I loved it. Its the thing I feel I was born to do, the only thing I've wanted to do, the thing I'm best at. Nearly two full years since I graduated, and no job. Nothing to show for all of my effort. I got close, once. Because I knew someone. Since then, its been rejection emails and a singular bullshit round one with a startup. I haven't written any meaningful code in six months. I just can't do it anymore, I can't bring myself to open an editor, let alone learn anything. I can feel the rust building, the skills fading, the love draining. It makes me feel sick, or angry, now. I feel like I got conned. I was promised by so many organizations, so many entities- if I was smart, driven, and serious about doing my best, they'd practically be saving a seat for me.