Post #3101741

2026-05-25 15:30 UTC

The fatigue that comes from constantly monitoring yourself. Constantly translating yourself. Constantly shaping yourself into someone understandable to other people. And because so much of my life operated through implied social rules instead of explicit communication, many of my relationships were built around assumed consent. People assumed emotional access to me because I rarely interrupted that access. People made decisions around me, about me, or involving me without always informing me directly because I had unintentionally taught people that I would adapt around missing information. At the same time, I mirrored those same systems back at others because implicit communication had become normalized to me too. That is the part people sometimes miss. When you spend years surviving through social camouflage, ambiguity can start to feel more natural than direct communication. And I do not think I was the only person confused during that transition. When someone spends years adapting quietly, people build relationships around that adaptation. Removing it changes the emotional architecture of the relationship for everyone involved. So when I began clarifying boundaries more explicitly after 2022, some friendships changed permanently. Not always because anyone was malicious. (2/4)

Replies (1)

@Rosalyn@mindly.social 2026-05-25 15:30

But because the relationship itself had been structured around unspoken assumptions that no longer worked once I became more direct about my limits, my needs, my energy, and my autonomy. At the same time, my work studying vulnerable populations also changed the way I interpreted relationships, access, and social behavior. Once you spend enough time studying disability, dependency, coercive dynamics, and structural inequality, it becomes difficult not to notice how differently people move through the world based on what they have access to. Freedom. Mobility. Privacy. Financial flexibility. Social credibility. The ability to leave environments that are harming you. Some people experience those things so continuously that they stop recognizing them as forms of privilege at all. They simply feel normal. But when you live closer to vulnerability, those differences can feel impossible not to see. And one of the more difficult things for me to process during this period was realizing that these dynamics did not stop with nondisabled people. In my experience, disabled communities are still made up of human beings navigating different levels of access, support, privilege, autonomy, and social power. A disabled person may still have financial privilege. Family support. Mobility access. Social credibility. Educational opportunity. Greater independence. Safer living conditions. More community protection. (3/4)

Open ##3101742