Post #2798543

both characters here, the normie and the sysadmin, have their life suck in two very distinct ways. the normie is divorced. she has to take care of two kids all on her own. even as she has a low paying miserable job. one of her kids is getting into trouble. she has no close friends anymore. only a guy in the dog park to talk to sometimes. she's dating an unkempt cheater. i can't imagine that relationship is gonna go very well. she is tired, but that's normal. everything is fine. she will survive. the sysadmin spends all her time at home and lives alone. she has a high paying job, but doesn't wanna do that, because its always too much thinking. it is the only job she can reliably do tho. all she can do with that money is spend it on domains and drugs. she might be dating 3 faggots on fedi at once, but that doesn't help her not feeling lonely. the sex she has might be very kinky, but it doesn't feel real or satisfying, because it's always with a new person. all of her friends are cynical. they all communicate thru a layer of memes, shitposting and postironic references. always thinking who to cancel next. arguing about fedi meta every other week. she has no spoons to clean and her room is a mess, that hasn't been touched in 2 months. something is subtly wrong. everything is subtly wrong. if she were to kill herself tomorrow, or overdoes on drugs, will anyone even notice? will anyone remember her after 2 weeks? unlike the normie, she knows that her life sucks. she is ashamed of being so weird... and she takes drugs to feel normal again. to stop being self aware. but also, taking a few months to process that trip, she might realize that there is something good about being a normie too. and achieve a kind of dialectic synthesis of normies and sysadmin. a sysadmin who goes outside on some days and has friends who unironically love her. maybe... eventually... some day.. maybe we all can heal