Post #2662789

2026-05-16 13:37 UTC

I don’t agree. I have the feeling that “agender” is a label that could apply to me. I don’t have this deep attachment to the notion I’m a “man” or “woman” that others do. At most I’m unsure if I’d be okay with someone consistently referring to me as “she;” as a femboy it’s a compliment when strangers do it off handedly, but nobody’s ever done it consistently. But I could never call myself trans. That’s stolen valor to me. I’ll never go through the financial woes and social persecution that trans people go through, because I don’t feel the true need to do anything defined as “transitioning.” That’s why “agender” reasonates stronger than “genderfluid” though I wouldn’t call it unreasonable if someone else considered me as such. Maybe I’m using a more inclusive definition of “cis” than you. Maybe some would argue you can be not cis without being trans. But that’s “depends how you define cis” now isn’t it? All I’m saying is that I don’t think it’s helpful or accurate to basically consider everyone who ever questioned their gender to be trans, it’s called questioning for a reason, and in many ways I’d argue the world would be better if cis people questioned their gender more.

Replies (2)

@treesapx@lemmy.world 2026-05-16 15:37

This is something that starts to emerge from those “egg” meme communities. “Egg” is slang for a trans person who doesn’t know it yet, and there are little pockets on the internet that share egg memes. Over time the memes and discussion can start getting kind of… pushy/aggressive? Not exactly the word I’m looking for, but I hope it gets the point across. Basically it’s the same thing you’re talking about. As memes do, they oversimplify until everyone is an egg. Which isn’t exactly a bad thing, but also are we not dictating everyone’s destination before they even start their journey?

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@erev@lemmy.world 2026-05-16 19:32

Some people argue that if you are not cis you are trans; I believe this comes from the perspective that being trans is not just transitioning but that transness is the umbrella for being genderqueer. This is why some people say that all nonbinary folks are trans while others disagree; I personally think these labels are descriptive and no prescriptive so choose whatever you want. But imo being anything other than cis can be a lot like race; just because you aren’t white doesn’t mean you’re black, but just because you’re not black doesn’t mean you’re white. Plenty of people of color try to lean into their whiteness and put distance between them and blackness, but the fact of the matter is that a brown person will never be white and trying to avoid blackness can destroy the solidarity that allows us to overcome this system; just because you aren’t cis doesnt mean you’re trans, but at the end of the day the system doesn’t care if you’re trans, it cares that you’re not cis. If transness was the issue the intersex people would have nothing to worry, but they are facing just as much discrimination from anti-trans policies as well. You may make the distinction between being agender and beinf trans, and that’s reasonable and should be respected. The state makes no such distinction.

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