Post #2648677

2026-04-13 06:26 UTC

@whitequark@social.treehouse.systems For my part, I think I'm probably more miserable than I was before, but at least it's *me* being miserable? I can actually feel sad about my somewhat shitty situation rather than being dissociated to the point of not being able to feel anything or get anything done?

Replies (1)

@whitequark@social.treehouse.systems 2026-04-13 06:32

@iris_meredith@mastodon.social I do not experience any meaningful amount of euphoria from "being myself". e.g. I'm agender and go by "it" pronouns exclusively (if you look at my profile) but since it's so much easier to not have to explain this to people I just tell them I'm a woman (and present like a binary one); it saves me so much effort that it outweighs a small emotional downside. as for dissociation... it's hard to evaluate, and I intentionally don't keep records that would help me do that, but I think I probably experience that less now. which is not exactly an improvement, because feeling a deeply burning visceral anger at how unjustifiably poorly I was treated by other trans people who claimed to care about me at all times is clearly worse than just a state of constant dissociation. I'd really like to have the latter back; I try and approximate it by just working 16 hours a day but it's not quite the same

Open ##2648678