Post #2626860

2026-04-23 13:59 UTC

I'm the exact type of victim the Pedophile-as-Stranger idea depicts, right? I was groomed by, specifically, a private tutor. he was gay. it's textbook but that ended very quickly, specifically because it is VERY EASY to remove an unrelated adult's access to a child, and the consequences for me of telling other people about him were VERY LOW. meanwhile, my dad's abuse only cooled off when he scared himself by how violent he got with me. it remained a secret to other adults for decades. even without continued verbal or physical abuse, I continued to be revictimized by the 'new normal' created by his abuse for decades. because his access to me was the most legitimate possible: that of a father to his child. (you might think 'mother,' but I said 'access,' not 'responsibility of care'; when fathers choose to show up to family court and request custody, they overwhelmingly get it.) because the cost to me of revealing his abuse, retaliation or the loss of his livelihood, was so high.

Replies (1)

@byttyrs@monads.online 2026-04-23 14:16

exceptionalizing child sexual abuse, by which I mean exceptionalizing it among other types of child abuse, has largely made things worse for child abuse victims. the unrelated gay man who groomed me did so by identifying my gender variance/gayness and being the only adult in my life who explicitly said I would be safe revealing to him that I was gay. as an adult, parents have *openly hid their children's eyes from me* because that same gender variance and gayness — let's be explicit here, my *transfemininity and faggotry* — is 'inappropriate for children'. so my gender variance has BOTH exposed me to child sexual abuse AND to the stigma of being CONSIDERED a child sexual abuser. meanwhile, the whole fucking time, MOST CHILD ABUSE — SEXUAL OR OTHERWISE — HAS BEEN COMMITTED BY PARENTS OR OTHER ADULTS RELATED TO THE CHILD the pedophile-as-stranger and pedophilic gay man stereotypes function to protect and empower child abusers AND endanger trans women and gay men.

Open ##2626861