Post #2616579

To answer your title: don’t shit where you eat. Jane sounds lovely, and based on what you’ve said, it’s unwise but not wrong to go for her. Dating a coworker is shitting where you eat, but it’s usually mild. John seems like a good kid, but he needs a conversation about professionalism. He put you in an uncomfortable situation by telling you he’s romantically interested in a coworker who’s been hitting on you. You probably shouldn’t know he’s a furry either. Hell, you shouldn’t know he’s so unhappy he’s looking for other work. He sounds neurodivergent, and that’s cool, but non judgementally, he needs to be aware that that level of openness with coworkers can cost jobs and possibly even risk sexual harassment claims. Like let’s remove the you and Jane leg here. A generic friend of yours is telling you that he thinks he screwed up, he told his boss that the only reason he’s still working there is because he’s trying to date the head of another department. He’s asked her out, but nothing seems to have come of it, but it’s ok, they’re friends. Somewhere in this conversation he mentions that everyone at work knows about his mental health struggles and that he’s in therapy. How fucked do you tell your friend he is? Because I’ll say this, I’d be terrified that friend is misreading the situation with the woman, she’s afraid to say no (if they were actually friends he wouldn’t need to see her at work to pursue her), and she’s afraid to turn him down directly lest he hurt himself. And barring all that, he’s still given them reasonable cause for firing. That’s not necessarily the situation or even the most likely scenario, but it’s a plausible one. I’m sympathetic to John. At my first few jobs when I was his age I was far too open about myself and my life. I never hit on coworkers, but otherwise relatable. It fucked me hard, and I really benefited when I learned to create a professional boundary and barriers. Also, figure out your liability in all reasonable scenarios. Not from strangers on the internet. If John’s advances on Jane are unwelcome are you going to be in trouble for knowing and not reacting.