Post #2559573

2026-05-09 17:55 UTC

Going outside is hard (an unpost) I was going to meet Kitty this morning at EdinBrick, the annual Edinburgh LEGO show. Despite spending hours together every day, it’s actually been months since we’ve seen each other in person, and I was *really* looking forward to spending time with her. But she’s been very stressed lately, not least because she’s preparing to move house, and she has a few other things to deal with this week. So it was always a possibility that she wouldn’t feel up to it, and yesterday she was erring on the side of not going. I woke up at about 6, which I’ve been doing quite a bit in the brief time that I’ve been taking melatonin to help with my sleep. But I hadn’t had more than five hours’ sleep at that point, and I was feeling extremely anxious about going out later. Read more: https://transponderings.blog/2026/05/09/going-outside-is-hard/

Replies (1)

@autoperipatetikos@neurodifferent.me 2026-05-13 11:20

@transponderings@eldritch.cafe Thanks for sharing this. It has taken me so long to get round to responding (how many days is it now?) and this I why I don't get out enough. I know we have talked on this topic, so I'm probably repeating myself. I feel like it is impossible for many people to believe that it is not a choice. I have (to some extent) given up on trying to be understood, because it's so exhausting. A psychologist I talk to likes a theory called body boredom. It could mean that my body gives me fatigue to make me pay attention to what is not being listened to (eg I need more rest but if I go out I am ignoring that). I have yet to untangle the mess this has got me in (health consequences). In the last few weeks, I've had some bad pain which has been worse when sitting, so if that's another thing to pay attention to, it has resulted in me going out for a walk a bit more often. Now I'm rethinking. I wonder how much I might have not been listening to what is actually going on as opposed to believing it's that I don't want to go out 😘

Open ##2764880