Post #2392854

I recently re-watched Babylon 5, and there a line from and early episode the keeps coming back and haunting me. Ambassador Morllari tells the story of his aged father sitting in the dark and quietly proclaiming: “My shoes are too tight, but it doesn’t matter, because I have forgotten how to dance” This can be applied to a lot of things, but I think about it a lot in the context of my journey and those of my trans femme sisters. We live in a time where the very act of appearing in public can be both dangerous and revolutionary. A time where controls on our healthcare, documentation, and our very bodies is being tightened on a daily basis. A time where we’re expected to either publicly present ourselves as epitomes of cis womanhood, or to disappear. All of these pressures take a toll on us. We, rightfully, fear for our safety and stability. So we become more reticent, more self-controlled, and more limited. We second guess ourselves more and more until it simply all becomes a normalized way of being. Being trans is both a gift and a curse. We don’t choose to be trans, but we do choose how to act upon the knowledge that we are. There is an inherent freedom in our choices. A revelatory glee in realization and re-creating ourselves, our presentations, and our bodies. Regressive forces around us constantly try to squelch this glee with demands for conformity and laws that enforce their notions of stability. But it is up to us to ensure we never forget how to embrace and in-body that joyfulness. We must never forget how to dance.