@SnoringEarthworm@sh.itjust.works
Post #2022096
2026-05-04 20:05 UTC
Replies (3)
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@Objection@lemmy.ml 2026-05-04 22:50
One side of it is the vulnerability and embarrassment. Like, swap the genders and you've got the old-school "ditzy secretary" trope, "Oh no, I spilled coffee all over your important papers! You're not mad at me are you?" There's probably no specific gene anymore than there's a "attracted to ditzy secretary" gene. There can be other dynamics at play with the way men tend to put on fronts. Guy fails at something, the front drops, they're suddenly in unfamiliar territory, you're seeing a side they don't show to the world. You can see how they handle stress, like do they throw the controller or do they get mopey or what, it can show emotional maturity. Unearned confidence or overconfidence can also be hot. Like, guy who isn't actually that good at anything but believes in himself 100% and bounces back from disappointment always looking to prove himself and show off, there's something kind of endearing about that, and it might make them more approachable and relatable than someone who's actually just good at everything. Basically there's a lot of stuff it can tap into and the D/s dynamic is often a big factor but not necessarily the only one.
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@Baggie@lemmy.zip 2026-05-05 02:29
I'm not looking it up, but there was a thing I remember seeing a little while ago that there literally is a biological motive towards women seeking out men with pathetic traits. It's to do with seeking out potential partners that are either submissive or dominant, depending on what you're into. It's a non specific to gender desire to form a pairing with a clear dominant party. I don't think it's universal or anything, but it's something people are into. Pretty sure I saw this through a look into why women are into waterboy from dispatch actually.
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@sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 2026-05-04 20:16
my ex said that my attempts at savoir faire were endearing and that she just liked that I was okay with not being the smartest or funniest person in the room. I assume to attract that type you have to embody this kind of energy? she might have been entirety unique in what she wanted or saw in me. but she did also say there is a genuine thing where some women just fuck a guy out of pity, so maybe I was one of those. there also was discourse a few years back before covid about whether pathetic dudes are more loyal because they see their partners as gods or if the confidence goes to their ego and they get notions after the first taste of any positive attention. either way, seems like a risky gamble