Post #1904138

2026-05-02 18:46 UTC

@Ambulocetus Two former schoolmates run into each other and strike up a conversation. "I became a schoolteacher," one says, "how about you?" "I work for the DOGE 2.0 now," the other replies. "We root out dissatisfied government employees and report them for anti-American ideals." "But what about satisfied employees?" "We report them for embezzlement, compounded by failing to submit our cut."

Replies (2)

@raganwald@social.bau-ha.us 2026-05-02 18:54

@Ambulocetus A member of the Washington Press Corps lobs President Trump a softball on the eve of the midterm elections: "President Trump, who will win the midterms tomorrow?" In a stunning moment of candour, Trump says: "We don't know. Chinese hackers stole the results yesterday, but we have the best people working on stealing them back."

Open ##1904139
@Ambulocetus@mefi.social 2026-05-02 18:59

@raganwald The evil dictators of history were getting bored in Hell, so they decided to take a look at Earth and see if there were any good wars going on. Gengis Khan said "If I had the American army I could have ruled the world". Hitler said "If I had the American's weapons all of Europe would be speaking German". Napolean said "If I had Fox News the French people wouldn't know what happened in Moscow".

Open ##1904140