Post #1826517

2026-04-24 22:02 UTC

I know so many women who don't identify as lesbian, or even as bi/pan, but who have had sexual experiences and romantic relationships with other women. I also know many women who, especially in recent years, have made similar statements to the one in the quoted post above. I wonder how many women who have accepted virtual celibacy would see themselves as still having opportunities for pursuing sexual or romantic encounters after eschewing men, were it not for narratives of sexuality being immutable. 3/6

Replies (1)

@lina@neuromatch.social 2026-04-24 22:02

How many times have you heard closeted or coming out queers say things like "but I don't think I want to be super flaming/butch/etc"? How many times have you heard the assimilationist recommendation, "you can just be a 'normal' guy who happens to be gay... an Anderson Cooper kind of gay"? People who believe the immutability framing still have an understanding of gender and sexuality as assemblages that include cultural elements, even if they don't recognize it. "If I'm gay, do I have to be rainbows and glitter and fierce?" Bioessentialism just can't hold water for our lived experiences, even without visiting the graveyard of failed attempts to find neurological and genetic bases for queerness. 4/6

Open ##1826519