Post #1649618

@taedryn It's complicated. I try to avoid labels, but ... I'm in my 50s, but in my 20s there were any number of occasions where someone expected things that I hadn't quite cottoned on to being in play. That's not to say I've never participated, nor even never participated willingly in sex, but more often than not there has been no interest on my part, and all together too often I've not realised that there was in theirs. That said I'm an incredibly tactile person, I hug lampposts ffs. And that's been known to generate confusion, and perhaps even conflict. There us a certain level of human contact I enjoy, but I generally prefer it without the sex. I find that martial arts fit that well for me, I used to box, wrestle, and fence, but that people got weird about it if I said anything about preferring fighting to the other "f". I'd dance, but my brain refuses to hold on to a single rhythm, which isn't really helpful with a cooperative partner. I'm not really romantic, but, when the lines of communication are clear, the game, the to, and fro, the intellectual challenge of flirting, and finding the just the right thing to say can be fun. But I've not always noticed that the game is being played. I don't really have any answers for you, but I think the key is to find people with whom you can clearly communicate so that you have shared boundaries, within which you can play. I find that shared intersects and activities help, but even so, mistakes can be made. There will be folk to dance with, but it's really important to maintain the communication, so you keep sharing the understanding.