Post #116168

2026-01-07 00:48 UTC

not that i should be online dating at my age, but my friends do it and i wonder why this happens. often times, someone will make a post (though i dont advise it) that says something like “16m gay looking for a bf” and then someone will reply with “17m dm me” and then he dms him and the 17 year old guy never talks to him again. aside from not being his type or the account being banned, what are some other reasons? like if ur up for a relationship then dont ghost the guy!! the few times i online dated were unsuccessful, one was horny, one was a catfish, and one blocked me after we started getting along.

Replies (4)

@FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2026-01-07 00:59

I don’t know but my first assumption would be that thia ia just a symptom of the zoomer ghosting epidemic. Even in a professional context, zoomers a year younger than me have always displayed this incredible inability to respond to important text messages. (Can’t stop grumbling about this to anyone I know LOL) If you want a really wild explanation consider that, if you’re really not supposed to be there, the police are catfishing for adults who want to date 17 year olds. They see you, check if you’re real, and have no purpoe to caffish you,

Open ##2818775
@FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website 2026-01-07 01:00

People behave very differently digitally compared to what they would do in person. It’s much easier to slam the door digitally and not having to explain why they did that. People are also insecure and do irrational shit, especially while dating. And some people will just troll you if isn’t a setup to defraud you. You just have to stop yourself from assuming best intentions from everybody. Ghosting is just part of the ephemeral experience online now. In a way, people who ghost you do you a favor. They are not worth the effort.

Open ##2818776
@Fit_Series_573@lemmy.world 2026-01-07 02:19

Given the example and you mentioning should not be dating at your ages, are we sure these people actually are the “17 year old guy” and not either creeps of funnels to get people looking for people those ages? Your friends should try is possible to look more in person within school than strangers on whatever app/site they are using. To answer your question though, some people don’t consider there being much of a connection online and there being the entire city as your potential options that ghosting isn’t looked at as an issue on their end as they were never commited enough to the conversation to begin with. There are a lot of bots as well so there may have never been a person there you’re talking to. I personally hate the apps but am actively looking to date and its a unsettlingly common experience to get ghosted after meeting someone I’m person once or twice as there testing the waters in their eyes or looking for a happy ending so I’d rather just use them sparingly.

Open ##2818785
@user224@lemmy.sdf.org 2026-01-07 02:48

Might be just gathering choices. Asks 20 people to DM if interested. 7 respond. The guy picks 1 who he likes the most and drops the rest.

Open ##2818786